In that moment; a belief was born about your worth.

The darkest moment of your darkest day. This is the moment that defined your belief in you, your sense of safety in this world, the way you measure your worth. It is the moment that causes you to cope (whatever form that takes for you), and it remains the template by which you approach and live in relationship with others. While one dark moment can have this impact; for many survivors of trauma there have often been cumulative moments that cement these beliefs. But it is the first remembered moment (whether held as a cognitive belief or physical sensation) that started the train of beliefs that make you feel and believe your not worth more. That first moment in which your trust was shaken brought you to where you are today. The ideas and emotions, betrayals of trust create, keep one from seeing their own worth. This can take many forms. For some remaining in unhealthy sometimes unsafe relationships will result. Others may run from (avoid or sabotage)relationships, find themselves over working/over performing, underworking/ underperforming, seeking alcohol or substances, overeating, denying themselves nutrition (love, connection, etc), harming themselves (and yes) sometimes harming others. The possibilities of coping are endless and unique to the individual. Whatever form betrayals of trust (coping) take it truly is a matter of trying (and often creatively) to avoid that painful internal experience. I want you to know; these beliefs and feelings can be redefined. A new perspective can emerge. It takes hard work, perseverance, support, and looking at (re-working) these tightly held ideas of self. Sometime, someplace, (maybe a long time ago) someone (or maybe more than one someone) hurt you. They took something precious from you and (he, she, they) do not have to be allowed to keep it. Build a new perspective. A perspective in which you see your worth through your own eyes. For perspective:“In the United States alone, approximately five million children experience some form of traumatic event each year. More than two million of these children are victims of physical and/or sexual abuse. Millions more live in the terrorizing atmosphere of domestic violence.By the time a child reaches the age of 18, the probability that he or she will have been touched directly by interpersonal or community violence is approximately one in four” (

Copyright Protected: © 2020 LaDonna Remy MSW, LICSW. All rights reserved.

Agreement of Use: In consideration for your use of and access to the Perspective on Trauma Blog, you agree that LaDonna Remy MSW, LICSW is not liable to you for any action or non-action you may take in reliance upon information from the blog. Please note, it is not possible to provide informed (personalized care) through blog content. It is your responsibility to seek individual clinical care from your own provider, who will know or learn your specific circumstances, should care be needed.

Professional Disclaimer: It is important to recognize that all information contained in the Perspective on Trauma Blog is informational, and is not intended as a substitute for clinical care. It is not possible to provide informed care through web content, as an informed treatment relationship cannot be formed. If you or a loved one is in need of care, it is important that you access this care from your own care provider.

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