Author’s Note: This piece examines how ongoing exposure to collective distress affects the nervous system and recognizes that suffering is experienced unevenly and shaped by social and systemic realities.

This morning, like many, I am deeply aware of the ongoing impact of the events unfolding around us. There is a sense of collective unease, marked by heightened vigilance, concern for the future, and emotional overwhelm that invites response to suffering, reflects an elevated need for safety and a simultaneous call to action. This collective unease is not experienced evenly, for many, distress is layered atop direct harm, systemic vulnerability, or ongoing threat. Our central nervous systems are continuously absorbing large-scale fear and distress, often without sufficient opportunity for regulation or repair.

In this environment, an internal struggle takes shape. The body’s stress response is activated. I hear and feel this struggle echoed in therapeutic settings, in personal and professional relationships, and within my own psyche. The struggle presents with intensity between the urge to act and the helplessness that arises when impact feels limited. In trauma-informed psychology, this experience is often referred to as empathetic distress.

Empathetic distress occurs when our capacity to feel with others becomes so activated that it overwhelms our own nervous system. Rather than empathy leading to connection or purposeful action, it can move into emotional flooding, anxiety, shutdown, or paralysis. The suffering of others does not simply move us; it can saturate us. This is especially likely when exposure to fear, injustice, or harm is ongoing, complex, and largely outside of our control at an individual level, even when collective or structural action remains necessary. Over time, the nervous system remains in a heightened state of activation, scanning for threat while lacking sufficient opportunities for resolution, rest, or repair.

Importantly, empathetic distress is not a failure of compassion or resilience. It most often arises in individuals who are deeply caring, value-driven, and relationally attuned. The distress itself is a normative response. The issue is a nervous system asked to hold too much, for too long, without adequate support.

When empathetic distress persists, feelings of helplessness can follow, not because people stop caring, but because the nervous system becomes overwhelmed by threat without a clear path toward resolution. The human stress response evolved to respond to danger that is immediate and actionable; something we can fight, flee, or move toward to restore safety. When distress is ongoing and outside of personal control, the nervous system remains activated without discharge. The result is a state of high vigilance paired with low agency. We feel compelled to respond to suffering, and in parallel experience a sense that nothing we do will meaningfully change the outcome.

Over time, this mismatch between care and capacity can lead to paralysis, exhaustion, or emotional numbing, not as a failure, but as a protective response.

What restores agency in these moments is not pressure to do more, but support for the nervous system to come out of survival mode. Agency does not return through urgency or self-demand; it returns through regulation, containment, and choice. Often, this begins by narrowing focus.

Large-scale suffering overwhelms because it exceeds our capacity to respond. When attention shifts from everything to something (a small, value-aligned action within reach) the nervous system can briefly gain a sense of orientation and influence. The form these actions take will differ depending on access, safety, and the realities of each person’s circumstances. Consistent practice strengthens capacity.

Tending to the body is equally important. Practices such as slowing the breath, grounding in the present moment, gentle movement, rest, and safe connection signal to the nervous system that threat has decreased. From this state, clarity becomes possible and responsiveness replaces reactivity. Without regulation, it becomes difficult to access our clearest thinking or wisest judgment, and we may unintentionally add to the very urgency or chaos we hope to ease. Boundaries matter as well. Caring does not require constant exposure to distress. Limiting intake, stepping back from repetitive or activating information, and allowing time for restoration are not signs of disengagement; they are acts of sustainability.

This is where compassion becomes distinct from empathetic distress. Empathetic distress pulls suffering inward, often without direction or containment. Compassion, by contrast, pairs empathy with boundaries and intention. It allows care to move through us rather than settle inside us in ways that immobilize.

Compassion is not the act of holding others’ pain as our own. It is expressed through action; often small, specific, and grounded. Supporting someone locally, contributing time or resources in defined ways, offering presence where we have real impact, and engaging in civic life in ways that are sustainable and aligned with capacity, and, for some drawing on spiritual practices or prayer as sources of grounding and meaning can all restore a sense of agency while honoring our limits.

When compassion is embodied rather than absorbed, it becomes something we can practice over time rather than something that depletes us. It keeps the heart open without overwhelming the nervous system.

In times of collective unease, returning to center again and again is not retreat. It is how we remain present, humane, and capable of care.

In naming this, I want to be clear: acknowledging the impact of empathetic distress is not an attempt to minimize the very real and unequal pain, suffering, or anger that exists. Rather, this reflection is offered in service of support, validation, and trauma-informed understanding grounded in safety.

Perspective on Trauma is a space for coming back to center, naming what often goes unnamed, and approaching our inner and collective experiences with care. This reflection explores how ongoing exposure to distress shapes our nervous systems, our relationships, and our capacity to care.

My hope is that by giving language to empathetic distress, we can restore agency and remain both compassionate and resourced in challenging times.

As always, thank you for reading. I look forward to connecting through your writing and mine.

Photo: Pixabay

Copyright Protected Material: © 2020 LaDonna Remy MSW, LICSW. All rights reserved. Written content on this blog (Perspective on Trauma) is the property of the author LaDonna Remy, MSW, LICSW. Any unauthorized use or duplication without written permission of the author/ owner of this web log is prohibited. Excerpts or quotes may be shared in the event the author is fully cited with reference and direction to this blog.

Professional Disclaimer: It is important to recognize that all information contained in the Perspective on Trauma Blog is informational. It is not intended to provide advice, assessment, treatment, or diagnosis. Content is not intended as a substitute for clinical care. It is not possible to provide informed care through web content, or to engage in an informed treatment relationship within this format. If you or a loved one need support; it is important that you access this care from your own (specifically assigned) health care provider.

Agreement of Use: In consideration for your use of and access to the Perspective on Trauma Blog, you agree that LaDonna Remy MSW, LICSW is not liable to you for any action or non-action you may take in reliance upon information from the Perspective on Trauma blog. As noted, it is not possible to provide informed (personalized care) through blog content. In the event, support is needed, it is your responsibility to seek care from your own health-care provider.

Resources and References:

Figley, C. R. (1995). Compassion fatigue: Coping with secondary traumatic stress disorder in those who treat the traumatized. Brunner/Mazel.

Hanson, R. (2013). Hardwiring happiness: The new brain science of contentment, calm, and confidence. Harmony Books.

Porges, S. W. (2011). The polyvagal theory: Neurophysiological foundations of emotions, attachment, communication, and self-regulation. W. W. Norton & Company.

van der Kolk, B. A. (2014). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. Viking.

Welwood, J. (2000). Toward a psychology of awakening: Buddhism, psychotherapy, and the path of personal and spiritual transformation. Shambhala.

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National Hotlines: 

The National Domestic Violence Helpline: (1-800-799-SAFE 7233)

The National Domestic Violence Chatline. http://www.TheHotLine.org

Treatment Referral Helpline: (1-877-726-4727)

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: (1-800-273-8255)

The Hotline. (n.d.). Abuse defined. National Domestic Violence Hotline. https://www.thehotline.org/identify-abuse/

Counseling Resources:

ALMA: https://helloalma.com/

Better Help: https://www.betterhelp.com/

Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us

Talk Space: https://www.talkspace

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