I knew I loved her, but I knew I had lost her. She was different, now. Gone was the laughter, the warmth, the very joy of life. She seemed distracted and preoccupied all the time. Never present. Hurtful, reactive words replaced the once thoughtful and witty remarks in conversation. I tried to express it many times. I tried to say I was worried. How can I help? She said, I know! I tried to spend time and bring healthy food and company. She stayed in her internal world. I tried to check in on her family and stay available to them. She told me to leave. She used reactive cruel language. She took herself and her children away. She left a huge gaping hole, where connection and love once lived freely.
I miss her all the time! Everyday! I miss her children, all the time and every day! I stay connected in ways I am allowed. I think. I cry. I pray. I realize, I do not have the power to change this for her. I wait.
Perspective: Substance (legal and non) and alcohol addiction is our nations number one health problem. Lives are altered on a daily basis as individuals are freely prescribed medications by health care providers. People who need medication for very real ailments can begin to lose sight as they rely on the medication to ease the pain. They can slowly build a reliance that replaces their coping and connections. Before they (and their loved ones) know it the medication has become their most intimate relationship. If you have a loved one in this situation learn all you can about addiction, learn what you may and may not do, and learn the limitations of your own influence.
For more information please see http://www.cdc.gov/mentalhealth/information/sub-abuse.htm
Agreement of Use: In consideration for your use of and access to the Perspective on Trauma Blog, you agree that LaDonna Remy MSW, LICSW is not liable to you for any action or non-action you may take in reliance upon information from the blog. Please ntoe, it is not possible to provide informed (personalized care) through blog content. It is your responsibility to seek individual clinical care from your own provider, who will know or learn your specific circumstances, should care be needed.
Professional Disclaimer: It is important to recognize that all information contained in the Perspective on Trauma Blog is informational, and is not intended as a substitute for clinical care. It is not possible to provide informed care through web content, as an informed treatment relationship cannot be formed. If you or a loved one is in need of care, it is important that you access this care from your own care provider.
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