One evening, a man returned home and calmly announced to his family and neighbors: “I am dead.”
Naturally, they immediately challenged him with sensible arguments: he walks, breathes, and thinks, dead men do none of these things. But none of their reasoning changed his conviction. He parried their objections, shifted the burden of proof back to them, avoided direct answers, and insisted that if he were dead, then they too must not exist (since the living don’t interact with the dead).
As time went on, most people gave up arguing with him. Some thought him mad. The family called a psychiatrist, who examined the man and concluded, “Hopelessly psychotic.” A clergyperson was consulted; nothing came of it. Then a family doctor, known for her wisdom and patience, was asked to assess him.
Standing before a small group, she asked: “Dead men do not bleed, correct?” The man agreed. Then she requested permission to make a small incision above his elbow, promising to mend any bleeding immediately. He consented. To everyone’s astonishment, the flesh bled. There were gasps, relief, and applause. As the crowd celebrated, the man turned to them and said, “I see that I was wrong. Dead men, in fact, do bleed.” (Edwin H. Friedman)
At first glance, the story is striking for its drama and absurdity. But, like all fables, it invites us to explore the deeper regions of our beliefs, particularly how committed we can become to them, even in the face of evidence to the contrary. It also offers a lens through which to see others, fostering compassion rooted in our shared humanity.
In more extreme situations, it can guide us in assessing the need for support, connection, or safety.
Overall, it is important to remember beliefs are more than idle opinions, they shape how we see ourselves, relate to others, interpret reality, behave in relationships, and the broader world.
With this in mind, the following journaling exercise provides a structured, gentle way to explore and reflect on your own beliefs.
Journaling Practice: Gently Wondering
Disclaimer:
The exercises and reflections below are intended for personal exploration and self-reflection only. They are not a substitute for professional therapy, medical advice, or mental health treatment. If you are experiencing distress, emotional pain, or mental health concerns, please seek support from a licensed mental health professional. Resources Follow.
- Name the Belief
Write down one belief you hold about yourself, someone else, or the world that feels unshakable.
(Examples: “I am not good enough,” “People can’t be trusted,” “Change is impossible for me.”) - Trace Its Roots
Ask yourself: When did I first start believing this? What experiences reinforced it? - Notice the Evidence
List the ways you’ve seen this belief confirmed in your life. Then ask: Have I ever seen moments that contradict it? Write those down too, even if they feel small. - Imagine the Opposite
For a moment, gently imagine what life might look like if the opposite belief were true. How would you act? How would you feel? - Choose a Small Experiment
Identify one simple, safe action you could take this week to explore your belief—not to prove it wrong, but to notice whether another story might also be possible.
Keep curiosity at the center. You don’t need to force a new belief. Simply notice where your mind bends evidence to fit the old story, and gently wonder if another interpretation could bring more freedom
OfCourse my hope is that you find something of value if you choose to engage in the exercise. My wish for humanity is that we would all engage in these types of reflections from our very origins.
As always, thank you for reading. I look forward to connecting through your writing and mine.
Resources Follow:
Photo: Pixabay
Copyright Protected Material: © 2020 LaDonna Remy MSW, LICSW. All rights reserved. Written content on this blog (Perspective on Trauma) is the property of the author LaDonna Remy, MSW, LICSW. Any unauthorized use or duplication without written permission of the author/ owner of this web log is prohibited. Excerpts or quotes may be shared in the event the author is fully cited with reference and direction to this blog.
Professional Disclaimer: It is important to recognize that all information contained in the Perspective on Trauma Blog is informational. It is not intended to provide advice, assessment, treatment, or diagnosis. Content is not intended as a substitute for clinical care. It is not possible to provide informed care through web content, or to engage in an informed treatment relationship within this format. If you or a loved one need support; it is important that you access this care from your own (specifically assigned) health care provider.
Agreement of Use: In consideration for your use of and access to the Perspective on Trauma Blog, you agree that LaDonna Remy MSW, LICSW is not liable to you for any action or non-action you may take in reliance upon information from the Perspective on Trauma blog. As noted, it is not possible to provide informed (personalized care) through blog content. In the event, support is needed it is your responsibility to seek care from your own health-care provider.
National Hotlines:
The National Domestic Violence Helpline: (1-800-799-SAFE 7233)
The National Domestic Violence Chatline. http://www.TheHotLine.org
Treatment Referral Helpline: (1-877-726-4727)
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: (1-800-273-8255)
The Hotline. (n.d.). Abuse defined. National Domestic Violence Hotline. https://www.thehotline.org/identify-abuse/
Counseling Resources:
ALMA: https://helloalma.com/
Better Help: https://www.betterhelp.com/
Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us
Talk Space: https://www.talkspac
Resources:
Friedman, E. H. (2014). Friedman’s fables (reprint). The Guilford Press. Guilford Press+1
Resources for Further Exploration:
Tavris, C., & Aronson, E. (2007). Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me): Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts. Harcourt.
Galef, J. (2021). The Scout Mindset: Why Some People See Things Clearly and Others Don’t. Portfolio.
Dobelli, R. (2013). The Art of Thinking Clearly: 99 Ways to Overcome Cognitive Biases. Sceptre; Farrar, Straus and Giroux.
Academy 4 Social Change. (n.d.). Confirmation Bias: No Need to Test My Hypothesis – Cognitive Biases Series (Worksheet). Academy4SC. Retrieved from https://academy4sc.org/…confirmation-bias_worksheet.pdf academy4sc.org
Happier Therapy Editorial Team. (2024, May 15). Schema Bias Worksheet. HappierTherapy. Retrieved from https://happiertherapy.com/…schema-bias-worksheet HappierTherapy
Worksheets & Printables
“Confirmation Bias: Worksheet — No Need to Test My Hypothesis” (Academy 4 Social Change)
A PDF worksheet that walks people through: writing a belief, gathering evidence for it, then gathering evidence against it. academy4sc.org
- Good for seeing bias in real time
- Can be used in session or as homework
“Confirmation Bias Worksheet (The Brainy Business, ep 102)”
A free worksheet geared toward “your brain will do these 4 things…” — it invites reflection on which beliefs might be holding someone back, and how confirmation bias plays a role. The Brainy Business
Unconscious Bias / Confirmation Bias Worksheet (Wellbeing Collective)
This includes a section on confirmation bias as a kind of unconscious bias, with space for clients to reflect on their own unconscious filters. thewellbeingcollective.co.uk
Improving Self-Esteem: “Thought Diary for Biased Expectations”
While it’s framed in terms of expectations / self-esteem, the worksheet encourages people to notice how they may ignore positive evidence — which links directly to confirmation bias. cci.health.wa.gov.au
“Full Lesson: Confirmation Bias” (Alliance for Decision Education)
A full 60–75 minute lesson plan PDF, with reflection questions before/during/after research — useful to adapt for clients doing a deeper dive. Alliance for Decision Education
Videos & Multimedia
“Confirmation Bias: How Your Beliefs Shape Your Reality” (YouTube)
A short video illustrating how confirmation bias works in everyday life. YouTube
“Confirmation Bias | Ethics Defined” (YouTube)
Clear, concise video definition/demonstration of confirmation bias. YouTube
“What is Confirmation Bias? (Fun Activity + Explanation!)” (YouTube)
A more creative / engaging video, good to use with clients who prefer visual, story-based learning. YouTube
“Confirmation Bias in UX Work” (NN/g video)
Though oriented to design, it gives a clean example of how confirmation bias distorts how we see data. (Can be used metaphorically in therapy.) nngroup.com
Perspective on Trauma 
There are different ways to read the message of your post, LaDonna. I’m interpreting it from the lens of mental health as I’ve dealt with a late family member who struggled with paranoid beliefs and it was so challenging to deal with, because in their mind, the death bled – so to speak, to draw parallels with the absurdity of the character in your parable. But in their mind, it was very real.
I like your journaling exercise because it does, in a safer and simple way, ask us to question our beliefs and to hopefully be able to trace their origins and find a peaceful resolution with them. And in some cases, as you noted, professional help may be needed.
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I agree Ab. There are many things to consider in the parable. I appreciate your sharing regarding your late family member. A persons beliefs can be so deeply held and often we are called to hold them through this.
You seem to very dedicated and loving family member.
I always appreciate you.
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