Attachment & Relationship

Interdependence and Independance: Reflections for July 2025.

As we mark our country’s independence this July, it invites us to reflect on what true independence means for each of us—both personally and collectively. True independence includes self-awareness, resilience, and the ability to choose how we navigate our lives and the world around us. Further, it is shaped by our familial, social, and societal realities.

While personal autonomy and self-sufficiency are important, these qualities develop, in their healthiest form, when rooted in a foundation of safety and belonging. It is this foundation that provides the sense of security we need to explore the larger world. As infants, if we are born into a familial structure that balances nurturing and safety with our need to explore and grow, we find our way to feeling secure in ourselves and in navigating the many nuances of the world beyond our immediate caregivers.

These early experiences lay the groundwork for how we relate to ourselves and others throughout life. We learn that we have others to rely on. This initial reliance, and the support we receive in navigating both mistakes and successes, allows us to trust in ourselves and our own capabilities. In essence, we know that the floor is there—and that we can walk steadily forward. This security also allows us to return to our foundation (our people) as needed across the lifespan as we navigate our broader social worlds.

Our personal understanding continues to grow as we encounter others through our normative experiences within relationships and communities. Ideally, through these experiences, we learn how to assert our values and ideas while respecting the boundaries of others’ values and ideas—without controlling or being controlled.

Our reality and sense of independence are shaped by the larger world and dependent on the context of social, economic, cultural norms, and the historical experiences of equality and inequality we encounter. It is important to recognize that our pursuit of autonomy is interconnected with these factors, and may look very different for each of us as we navigate the dynamics of privilege and oppression (hooks, 2000).

Overall, independence encompasses awareness of others. It doesn’t mean, at least to this writer, self-focus or self-reliance to the point of exclusion. We are interconnected as people. This knowledge can empower us, if we allow it, to form and maintain relationships and communities that support growth, genuine freedom, and mutual respect.

True independence is not merely about standing alone—it is about standing together, grounded in our shared humanity, so we can move forward with both courage and compassion.

As always, thank you for reading. I welcome your thoughts and comments and look forward to connecting with you through yuor writng and mine.

Resources Follow:

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Copyright Protected Material: © 2020 LaDonna Remy MSW, LICSW. All rights reserved. Written content on this blog (Perspective on Trauma) is the property of the author LaDonna Remy, MSW, LICSW. Any unauthorized use or duplication without written permission of the author/ owner of this web log is prohibited. Excerpts or quotes may be shared in the event the author is fully cited with reference and direction to this blog.

Professional Disclaimer: It is important to recognize that all information contained in the Perspective on Trauma Blog is informational. It is not intended to provide advice, assessment, treatment, or diagnosis. Content is not intended as a substitute for clinical care. It is not possible to provide informed care through web content, or to engage in an informed treatment relationship within this format. If you or a loved one need support; it is important that you access this care from your own (specifically assigned) health care provider.

Agreement of Use: In consideration for your use of and access to the Perspective on Trauma Blog, you agree that LaDonna Remy MSW, LICSW is not liable to you for any action or non-action you may take in reliance upon information from the Perspective on Trauma blog. As noted, it is not possible to provide informed (personalized care) through blog content. In the event, support is needed it is your responsibility to seek care from your own health-care provider.

National Hotlines: 

The National Domestic Violence Helpline: (1-800-799-SAFE 7233)

The National Domestic Violence Chatline. http://www.TheHotLine.org

Treatment Referral Helpline: (1-877-726-4727)
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: (1-800-273-8255)

Counseling Resources:

ALMA: https://helloalma.com/

Better Help: https://www.betterhelp.com/

Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us

Talk Space: https://www.talkspace.com/

Resources:

Ainsworth, M. D. S., Blehar, M. C., Waters, E., & Wall, S. (1978). Patterns of Attachment: A Psychological Study of the Strange Situation.

Bowlby, J. (1988). A Secure Base: Parent-Child Attachment and Healthy Human Development.

Bronfenbrenner, U. (1979). The Ecology of Human Development: Experiments by Nature and Design.

Hooks, bell. (2000). All About Love: New Visions.

Giddens, A. (1984). The Constitution of Society: Outline of the Theory of Structuration.

26 thoughts on “Interdependence and Independance: Reflections for July 2025.”

  1. True independence is found not in isolation, but in connection with God, ourselves, and others. Freedom thrives where love, trust, and belonging are rooted.

    Thank you for this powerful and wonderful post.

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  2. Happy 4th of July, LaDonna! So many ways to read your post, as a parent with a child on the cusp of adolescence, as an adult watching the horrors unfolding the US as the idea of community is being ripped apart…

    So much of our life’s foundation do take shape in those formative years and I agree that we are all interconnected and context may differ for each of us. At the end of the day, our independence is allowed to take shape because of our interdependence on the larger society. I wish more leaders get that importance of the community fabric too. 

    Hope you enjoy your summer with your family! 

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    1. Thank you, Ab. I hope all is well for you. Having a trusted foundation is such an important part of our growth and development across all levels of our life span and in all domains.

      I appreciate you.

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  6. I completely agree with your insight. After spending time in isolation, I’ve come to truly appreciate the joy of being part of a community. At the same time, I still find myself drawn to moments of solitude—they bring their own kind of comfort, so I tend to move between the two.

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  8. Thank you for subscribed to me. I subscribed to you. How are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing during the week? What are you doing during the weekend? Talk to you later. Have a good day.

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    1. Thank you for subscribing and commenting, Jessica. I look very forward to reading your posts and learning more about your perspective. I appreciate your questions. I stay busy with work, family, my dog, and general activities. ❤️

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      1. Thank you for your comment. I want to learn from you because you seem like an intelligent person. I am getting bullied by Atheists because I am Christian. I am trying to stop communicating with them, but they won’t stop communicating with them. I want to learn more about you. I like your name. I know two LaDonnas. Have a good day. Talk to you later.

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      2. Jessica,
        Thank you again for your kind words and for following my work. I appreciate your engagement here on the blog and am very sorry you are experiencing this.

        As a therapist, I must maintain clear boundaries and cannot engage in deeply personal conversations or offer advice through this platform. My blog is a place for sharing reflections on trauma and healing, and I welcome discussion related to those topics.

        I welcome your reflections on blog content, and hope you continue to find supportive communities that align with your values.

        Warm regards,
        LaDonna

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      3. Thank you so much and we will chat later because I am going to bed, but I need a lot of support from therapist at this very moment too.

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      5. Thank you so much because I need all the support I can get right now because what has happened to me on WordPress, so how was your day.

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