Self protection is an inherent part of being human. It is normal and needed, for each of us, to protect ourselves when we have been hurt. It can, left non-reflected, become a familiar and painful way of life. Self protection shows up in many forms, but most often in forms that impede trust in both relationship with self and others.
Grace in healing; is not as easily understood. It is important to give yourself grace, ask for and give grace to others (while owning any hurts you may have caused with your self protection), and/ or identifying and building a connection with a higher (accepting) presence (that makes sense to you) to allow the time needed to move away from self protection.
Perspective: There are many ways to understand grace. To this writer, grace implies acceptance, patience, and presence.
Moving toward health is a process and one that is not likely to occur without acceptance of what has occurred, understanding what coping or self protection skills you may utilize, recognizing, reflecting, and owning the pain this may cause yourself and others, and creating the ability to be present with the hurt that lay the foundation for self protection.
To be present with this pain, one must feel safe. This safety can come in the form of trusted relationship with another and/or creating an understanding of higher presence. Understanding you need time and do not have to be alone in this process is essential in creating change.
It is equally important that you know; as much as you need validation and apology for your hurts (and this may or may not come) you may need to own (apologize for) hurts to others (in your current life) that your own self protection has caused. This is an important part of the process and one that requires grace from self, for self, toward others, from others, and can feel safer when embedded in a larger understanding of grace.
This larger understanding mostly comes in the form of spiritual connection, belief in purpose, or belief in belonging.
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