It is painful to be seen. This very truth places its foot right in front of healing. For most of us when we think of exposing our truths (the very things most of us have spent a life time running from and actively hiding from ourselves and others) we feel huge fear. Fear that keeps us from owning our story -our very truth. It keeps us from seeing ourselves and letting others see us. It takes huge courage to touch our shame! The shame we carry can come from many places. The way we perceive our hurt and often the way others respond to our hurt impedes or halts our healing. It is difficult (terrifying is a better description) to look at the pain of life. Maybe this pain (which created your feeling of shame) is residue from childhood hurts, victimization for which you blame you, mistakes you have made in your parenting, relationships, employment! Maybe it is an active addiction, a current lost relationship, a recent mistake that seems like so many others you have made. The truth is -it is ok that bad things have happened to you. It is ok that you have made mistakes. It matters how you are managing them. It matters if you are currently hurting yourself or others because of active shame numbing or hiding. It is important that you find a gentle place to see you. This seeing you and being seen (in all your truth) by a trusted other will aide in healing. It is scary to be seen and not everyone you know has “earned” (Dr. Brene’ Brown) that right or can provide this to you (because of their own active shame numbing). Find a gentle place to see and be seen.
Perspective: Dr Brene’ Brown, Researcher at the University of Houston, has written and speaks extensively on this topic. Her work normalizes human vulnerability and brings good hope.
“Owning your own story and loving yourself through that process is the bravest thing you will ever do”. Brene’ Brown. http://brenebrown.com
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